An Intro To Speed Dating
Geplaatst op 02-09-2026
Categorie: Lifestyle
Although many people have opinions on speed dating, I’ve found the majority of singles have never tried it because they have an idea that “good/attractive people don’t speed date”, “it’s overwhelming”, “it’s not the easiest way to meet people”, etc. So, I thought I’d talk a bit about it in this post and clear up the rumors since I hosted them for a few years. I’ll also list some pointers if you’d like to try it out.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with speed dating, here’s a basic rundown:
20-50 men and women gather together at Bar X (the number depends on the organization and how much time they allow for each date…I’ll tell you how to pick the one that’s right for you in a separate post). They are seated in pairs across from each other at a table, and each is handed a “score card” to keep track of everyone they meet. (Each person wears a nametag listing their first names and a number to identify themsleves.) Couples are given a total of 3-8 minutes to have a mini-date (again, the amount of time depends on the organization). Then the guys get up and rotate to the next girl until they have dated all the participants. After each date, the participants circle “yes” or “no” if they want to see each other again. If there is a match (both say “yes”), then they are given each other’s emails and can get started setting up a real date.
Sounds easy and painless, but I have witnessed some less-than-thrilled participants. Mostly due to unrealistic expectations.
I think the most important thing to remember about speed dating is to keep it light. It’s supposed to be a casual atmosphere for getting to know a lot of people at once, to see if there’s any initial chemistry. Don’t run through the checklist in your head of everything you want in a partner and see if your dates measure up. There’s no way to know that in 3 minutes, and you’ll leave pissed off.
If you go into it stressed, uptight, or scared it doesn’t usually turn out well—you’ll tend to come off looking either high strung or lacking confidence. So, don’t feel stressed. Consider it like online dating…you are running through profiles, only they are in person right in front of you instead of on your computer screen.
Also, keep your conversations brief and interesting. This isn’t the time to list all of your qualifications as boyfriend/ girlfriend material because it’s hardly a job interview. Ask questions instead of doing all the talking. Flirt. The main thing is to test for chemistry and connection, and then you can get to know each other over a longer date.
Don’t get frustrated if you aren’t attracted to many of the participants. Remember to think of it like online dating…you go through several profiles before you see one that you like. The beauty of speed dating is that it cuts out all the emailing and calling and you can go straight to the face-to-face contact.
Even if you don’t connect with someone at a speed dating event, use this as an opportunity to expand your social network. Many of the people I encountered ended up becoming friends and inviting each other to parties and events where they met eventual girlfriends/ boyfriends.
Speed dating is not for everyone, but it’s impossible to know that without first trying it out (more than once).
Here are a few sites to check out:
French Local Speed Dating Personals